Chic at 60ish!

Let’s talk about style. Not beauty—style. We all know women who are not classically beautiful, yet always look fantastic. Effortlessly put-together. Confident. Cool. Stunning. They may wear the same outfit as someone else, but on them it looks better. They’ve got the right shoes, right belt, right jewelry. The walk. The stance. The look. Every head turns when they enter a room.

NATURE OR NURTURE: My beautiful mother, Cis Golder, had fabulous style–and taught me everything I know! Here she is in Mary Mcfadden on her 70th birthday

Like it or not, it’s a visual world. This is important stuff, more so every day, as we scroll through photos on facebook and instagram. Are we born with style? Maybe. Maybe not. I frequently write about my mother, who had magnificent style. Everything I know, I learned from her. My daughter does not love clothes like I do but has great style of her own. Younger, edgier, more effortless and boho, she’s got “a very cool street-look.” And my granddaughter—sometimes to her mom’s dismay!—loves clothes and styles herself perfectly every morning before school.

GENERATION TO GENERATION: My daughter Lauren & granddaughter Margot with her American Girl doll–both have their own terrific style!

So perhaps the DNA theory stands. Yet I think style can be acquired. It’s a matter of interest. Style is about polish. Panache. Then add a little glam and a love of fashion. Be yourself. But step it up. Still confused? Follow the lead of someone whose style you admire—a friend, a professional, a celebrity, or all three.

IN THE GENES? Margot styled herself for her first day of Pre-K–the crayons on her dress, (from CBOP in Haverford), the embroidery on her jean jacket (from the flea market in Aspen) and even the dots on her umbrella, all coordinate. DNA????

Here’s what to do: Plan a date to go shopping or set aside time to browse sites online If you like, keep in mind the image of a famous trendsetter too. Jacqueline Onassis. Audrey Hepburn. Sarah Jessica Parker. Amal Clooney. If you’re a bit bohemian, envision Stevie Nicks, Ali MacGraw or Riley Keough in “Daisy Jones & The Six.” Then as you shop, think, “Would Jackie wear this?” “Would Amal wear that?” It works. And it helps a lot.

ENVISION SOMEONE YOU ADMIRE WHEN YOU SHOP: Iconic or modern, both Jackie Onassis & Amal Clooney are always perfection

Choose your shopping partners wisely (some friends do not want you to look better than they do) and never hesitate to use a professional. Work with people you love and who love you. They are trained to help. A good salesperson—particularly one who knows you (and your body) well—should be able to reach for the right item every time. And never listen to those who tell you that you always look wonderful. That’s crazy—even Amal Clooney looks better in some things than others. A good salesperson must be able to say, “Take that off—we can do better!”

DEPEND ON PROFESSIONALS YOU LOVE & WHO LOVE YOU: Missy Dietz, director of business development for Boyds in Philadelphia & Wayne, advises me & never lies to me–I love when she truthfully says, “We can do better!”

What about stepping out of your clothing comfort zone? Years ago, I was talked into a low-cut cocktail dress. Just not my look. It was expensive and I wore it, but I never felt myself in it. Conversely, sometimes it’s fun to stray. Last year I bought leather leggings. Again, a little tight and sexy for me. But I wear them often. So go figure.

“SO ELLYN!” A flowy blouse & pretty pants–a look I love & wear often, from michaelkors.com

But I admit, the older I get I rarely I deviate too far. Though I love new trends—like this year’s wide-leg pants—I still look like “Ellyn.” As you find your style, you’ll find yourself saying, “That’s so me.” Or “I love that, but it’s not for me.” Always know what’s in. Don’t always wear what’s in.

SOMETIMES IT’S FUN TO STEP OUT OF YOUR BOX: A little boho, but a dress (and photo) I love, from ralphlauren.com–Lauren & me on her birthday

Part of the fun of being 60ish is knowing yourself and staying true to yourself. Beyond trends, real style has nothing to do with dollars, and everything to do with grace and charm, combined with caring and concern for the world around you—and surely, a sense of humor! Style stems from confidence, from nonchalance. When you know you look great, that inner glow radiates from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

LOOKING GOOD WHILE YOU DO GOOD: Nothing is more chic than making the world a better place–rededicating the Cis & Robert Golder Garden, in memory of my beloved parents, at Orr Shalom, a home for children at risk in Israel

And that’s the moral of the story. Be yourself. Get good advice from people who know you well. Envision those you admire. Pretend you’re in a Gucci ad! Create your own style. Enjoy the compliments—and confidence—it brings. I cannot imagine giving yourself a better gift—here’s to looking—and feeling—fabulous! Ellyn Golder Saft